Are you still searching for something?

- Countryside --'Rose at the Barn'

Are you still searching for something?

'Been there --done that!'

HOME CONTENTS Are you Searching? Partial Journal CONTACT Rose

There was something very deep within, that's been there since childhood. More was added to this dilemma, and I felt the overload.

I relocated again, when about 40 yrs of age, I remember pleading aloud --asking: "WHY am I here. It's so quiet." I felt drained from the quiet. No traffic going by and only the sounds of birds and tree leaves, swaying, horses neighing. I only had my thoughts, and it was driving me crazy. I was so displeased with this life I wanted to die --if I couldn't get the answers I needed.

Were they my thoughts, or, where were they coming from. I considered dying to get away from it all. I was remembering this incredible man [Mr J.] who was like a dad to me. I had not spoken to my own dad for 30 years at this point in my life. My dad left me and my mom when I was about 11 years of age. I needed answers from somewhere. I didn't get intelligent answers from anywhere it seemed, so I needed to search deeply. I started on a journey to find truth, and meaning for my life. The wisdom I gained was from this extreme path I was pointed to. I dedicated two FULL powerful years to find the answers to my questions, and had to find the way to put it all together so it made sense.

My journey brought me a new way of life that now directs my heart, mind and soul.

This new website, and a certain phonecall led me to finally doing something more about 'my search'. I have been told many times to write my book, however, now, since it had already been documented on paper, I had to re-read and type it over, I thought.

I decided to record those writings, and to go back and remember it all, so I could better talk about this with the man who made that certain phonecall.

I decided after recording those documents,that real emotion and memories obvously are just words on paper. So, I offer 'My Search' --through audio form --on this website.

I believe there are many answers for your own search, and you may not have to go through this alone anymore --as I did.

What I learned through that journey has helped so many people to better understand life here on earth,and to resolve many un-asked questions. Portions of 'My Search' are always used when helping others.

So why was I there at that quiet location?

Because it was so quiet. I learned that quiet was how I would learn to really listen, and to hear the unspoken words that guided the rest of my life, and given me direction and purpose.

Are you learning? I sure did!

--Beautiful Pa.

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